Having sex for the first time is an extremely important and personal decision. As much time as it takes for each person to feel absolutely sure that they want to do it is always okay.
Planning your first relationship allows you to think about with whom you want to share these new sensations, as well as to control your environment; that is, how, where and when you would like it to happen: from small details such as the clothes and the music you want to listen to, to having what you need to feel protected and respected.
If you feel you are close to “your first time,” keep the following in mind:
The possibility of feeling pain
The first time you have vaginal sex may hurt, feel good, or both. Many times there is slight bleeding during penetration.
If the pain is severe, wait a while and start again. If the discomfort continues, stop. Talk to your partner about how you feel and discuss it with your gynecologist during your next visit.
Lubrication
Sometimes the vagina is not sufficiently lubricated (moist) and may cause pain or irritation. This situation is normal and does not mean that something is wrong with you or your partner.
It is advisable to wait until you are more aroused before inserting anything into the vagina (such as fingers or penis). You can also use an intimate lubricant, which will make sex more comfortable.
Contraceptives
One of the myths surrounding “the first time” is that you can’t get pregnant. This is completely false.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your first, second, third time, or if you’ve been sexually active for years: you can get pregnant any time semen or seminal fluid enters the vagina. Therefore, it is important to consider the use of contraceptive methods.
When choosing a contraceptive, take into account dual protection: use a hormonal contraceptive (implant, hormonal IUD, injection, patch, pills, emergency pill) combined with a barrier method (female or male condom). This way you prevent unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Ask your doctor which option is best for you.
Changes in your body
Some say that when you start your sex life, your hips will widen.
Physical changes vary from person to person and are related to factors such as genetics and diet. The onset of your sex life does not accelerate or modify these changes, nor does it prevent them.
Violence
Sometimes practices or situations that are not desired may be consented to out of fear that the partner will be upset or will move away. Behavior such as pushing, pulling hair, slapping, teasing, blackmailing or pressure to have sex may also appear. If these practices are not consensual and safe for both people, it is violence.
It is crucial that you can define boundaries with your partner and identify when a situation becomes abusive or violent.
Remember that you can always refuse to do something you don’t want to do or that makes you uncomfortable, regardless of the other person’s insistence. You don’t need to justify yourself. Sexual relations are not a test of love; if someone forces or pressures, it is violence.
When planning your “first time,” there are bound to be a lot of questions. Taking the time to research or talk to people you trust (partner, friends, family, medical personnel) will help you make the best decision for you.
Author: Ipas LAC